How to let off steam

It is very helpful to be able to “get things off your chest”. This kind of release will help you release cortisol and reduce stress – which most of us could use more of these days.

But whether you are in a better place afterwards or not depends on how you go about it. If you keep revisiting the details of what happened, you will continue to build your frustration and your cortisol levels, and nothing will change. This is not a useful choice for your health, nor for the emotional health of your team.

Continuing to complain will only make it worse

To truly let off steam and move on, here are a few helpful tips:

• Do something to burn off the cortisol and adrenaline in your system – exercise, go for a run, stomp around, punch pillows or even yell – maybe to your own voice mail, but not at someone you are angry with.
• Name your feelings: Are you angry, hurt, feeling let down, disappointed, feeling taken advantage of?    I’m so disappointed and hurt!!!!
• Discipline yourself to stop replaying the events in your mind, unless you can do it with a sense of detachment; just name the feelings and move on.
• Keep breathing.
• Don’t “ventilate” at people you are frustrated with – this will only increase stress in your relationship.
• You could engage a neutral party – friend or partner to witness your ventilation – as long as they aren’t going to jump in and take your side. If they also get angry with you, this may only make things worse. Being listened to and understood are really helping but enlisting allies to take sides with you will only escalate matters.

It requires willingness and discipline but knowing how to truly let off steam can be extremely useful – it’s really a life skill. Being able to do this will help you:

• Take responsibility for your life.
• Not be a victim of circumstances.
• Find contentment and peace.
• Create harmony with colleagues and in your teams.
• Be a more effective leader.

Being able to manage emotions is a critical skill in today’s working world, whether you are a team member or a leader of a team.

How can I feel more in control?Finding assertiveness