Your brain wants to be safe and certain clone
Why are we afraid to speak up about a difficult topic or to give feedback? Why do people react so dramatically when they are excluded from a group? Why do some people crave attention and others fight to the bitter end for justice?
It’s all driven by core brain functions that are trying to help us survive.
By design, the brain nudges you to take advantage of situations that will help you thrive and it makes sure you avoid dangerous situations so that you don’t die. Its assessments of what is useful for survival are pre-programmed in and are based on life on the savannah; sometimes it’s completely misguided in this 21st century world.
In this mini-course, you will learn about the Be SAFE & Certain model which helps explain why we react and what we react to.
The limbic system is a powerful part of the brain tasked with keeping us safe.
It uses chemicals of emotion to influence our behaviour: feel-good dopamine encourages us to do more of what will help us thrive, while adrenaline and cortisol (a stress hormone) get us to avoid danger and stay safe.
Threats
Depending on the extent of the limbic system’s concern, we may experience a mild dislike for something or a strong urge to fight back against someone or something.
The limbic system supplies an amount of adrenaline and cortisol it deems appropriate to help us respond to the threat in a fitting way.
Rewards
The brain craves dopamine. When it sees an opportunity (and there are no threats to attend to at the moment), it encourages us to pursue people or situations that it deems useful for our survival.
It doses us with dopamine to motivate us into action towards the intended reward.
The limbic system creates those threats and rewards in response to essential needs. Six of these are collected together in the Be SAFE & Certain model.
The six elements of the model describe some or our hard-wired, innate programming. And the model helps us understand the underpinnings of many of our desires, needs, trigger points and concerns.
The video below will describe the six elements of Be SAFE & Certain in a little more detail.
Read below a short description of each of these elements.
See which you relate to – some are likely to resonate more with you than others.
Be SAFE & Certain
Belonging
We feel that we belong when we are a part of a group, team or tribe.
Reward: We get a limbic reward (with feel-good dopamine) when we feel that we are a part of a group.
Threat: We get a threat response and experience fear when we are excluded or think we might be eliminated from the group.
Impact on behaviour: We avoid threats at all costs and in so doing, may end up avoiding tough conversations for fear of losing our connection with another.
Status
Status is about one’s position or relative importance within the group.
Reward We get a limbic reward (dopamine) when we know our position and are recognised for our contributions.
Threat: We experience a threat response and fear when our input is ignored, or we do not have a specific or useful role. You might feel uneasy when your position is not clearly defined.
Impact on behaviour: We are always seeking dopamine and in the quest for a feeling of status, we may try to promote ourselves over others or insult others to feel that we have a superior position.
Autonomi
Autonomy provides a sense of individual control over events. This allows for independent thinking, new ideas and innovation.
Reward: We get a limbic reward and dopamine when we get to have it our way.
Threat: We will experience a threat when we are micro-managed, told what to do or when our freedoms are limited.
Impact on behaviour: We might become obstinate and attached in wanting our own way. This might keep us from seeing that someone else’s approach might actually be better.
Fairness
Fairness is a perception of a fair exchange between people. Our need for fairness is deep and powerful.
Reward: We feel good when we reach a fair deal and everybody wins. We get an even stronger sense of reward when we have fought against unfairness and feel that “justice has been served”.
Threat: Experiencing unfairness creates a deep-seated emotional reaction along with feelings of revenge. When we believe we have been treated unfairly, or if we observe someone else being treated unfairly, we want to get back at the perpetrator.
Impact on behaviour: Fairness is not objective; it’s all based on perception. But our feelings are real. The feelings of revenge created by perceived injustices can be dangerous and damaging. People who are revenging may intentionally perform less than their best, actively disengage in their work or disrupt others in the workplace.
Expectations
We are motivated by imagined possibilities and hurt by disappointment.
Reward: We feel great when we are planning an exciting project or vacation; anticipation is half the fun!
Threat: When our expectations are not met, we experience disappointment. This comes from pain centres lighting up in the brain and our dopamine levels dropping drastically.
Impact on behaviour: The brain wants to avoid pain, so some people may not even strive to be great as the disappointment would be too much to bear. Others may set high expectations because it feels good – whether they follow through or not.
Certainty
Certainty is about clarity and knowing what’s going to happen.
Reward: We feel good when plans are in place, when we are structured and feel in control.
Threat: We feel threatened, afraid and unstable when we don’t know what’s going to happen, what’s coming next, who will be involved or how things might pan out.
Impact on behaviour: We may try to overcontrol situations and people.
Here is a brief summary of how the limbic system will direct your behaviour along the lines of the Be SAFE & Certain elements:
You will be drawn towards others if you feel that:
- you belong to the same tribe
- they can preserve or enhance your sense of status
- you feel a sense of autonomy around them
- they are fair
- they meet your expectations
- they create certainty
You will want to avoid or hurt people if you feel that:
- you will be rejected
- they insult you or take over your job
- they try to control you
- you feel they are unfair
- your expectations are not met
- they create uncertainty
Now that you have learned what your limbic system is paying attention to, you can use this simple model to understand where many of your emotions come from, why you like and dislike different situations and why you and others get upset over some situations.